I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
