is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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