I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize