From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
