Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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