from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
