just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
