There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
