So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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