You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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