make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
