So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize