when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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