Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
