apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
