I think i peed on brittanys purse
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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