Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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