i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
