Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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