How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
