I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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