I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
