So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
