I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Panties = found
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
