I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
