Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
