Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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