Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize