all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
