they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
