i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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