I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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