She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
