I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
