Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
