Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
