I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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