we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just high enough for therapy.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
