would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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