My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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