some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
