I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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