my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
