So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
