you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You pole danced in your parka.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
