At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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