i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
