Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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