I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
