Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
