just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
