Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the day after is always just damage control
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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