Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
