There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
