im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It's just like the Real World with babies
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
