and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize