"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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