He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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