It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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