She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize